WHO WANTS TO SEE AN HONEST-TO-GOD BLOGGER TOUCH A TAMPON DISPENSER IN THE LADIES ROOM?

You guys (ok gals) have like the coolest stuff in there. I mean you get presents just for going to the bathroom. And it even smells nicer. So jealous!

ARE YOU SNAKE MILKER MATERIAL?

Unfortunately, this economic funk has made us all reexamine our professional lives. People aren’t just looking for jobs with big paydays, but also something that will actually last for more than say, 6 months. For that, you need to work in an industry that people are always going to need. Acquire a position that will weather any economic storm. I’m sure you’re thinking it to, SNAKE MILKER. Yes there are some similarities to the more popular dairy farmer version (both positionsdeal with animals). However, in this case you’re not after cool, refreshing milk, but rather collecting the snake’s venom. A toxin that is the primary ingredient in creating an antivenom (used as an antidote when someone is bitten). Job requirements include: a BA in biology / herpetology (study of amphibians) and yes, probably a snake trainingcourse or two. Upside? Stable job with a decent salary. Downside, you’re working in a room full of freakin’ snakes every day. The job bites, literally.

CHRIST, I JUST HIT AN ANIMAL WITH MY CAR – SHOULD I SERVE IT FOR SUPER BOWL?

Hey, if you’re a super chef you can make anything taste like chicken. Though honestly, we both know that’s not the real issue. You’re worried that the freshly dead roadkill you just acquired might be too fattening for family and fellow fans. Well fear not, I have the answer to your critter calorie question.

4 THINGS I’M 72.8% SURE YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT SATANISM

1- Contrary to popular belief, Satanists are against ritualistic animal or human sacrifice.

2- The Church of Satan (the most popular devil worshipping organization) was founded in 1966 by Anton Szandor LaVey.

3- Anton even wrote the Satanic Bible in 1969.

4- The Church of Satan headquarters is located in New York.

HOT NEW "I've fallen and I can't get up!" LADY

Just watching the Sunday tube and caught a glimpse of the new “I've fallen and I can't get up!” lady – or shall I say fox. She even falls pretty. Prrr for the camera. [Yes, I need help.]

EBAY ODDBALL FIND: THE FALL GUY LUNCH BOX

Now you can bring Colt, Howie and Jody with you to school or work (if that’s the way you roll) everyday. This classic Fall Guy lunch box can be yours for only 70 bucks! This one includes the thermos.

RABBI AND GUINEA PIG